New Empleada Day! (yes, again)…and Gymnastics

We were doing pretty well for awhile there.  I really thought Elena was working out.  She was a great cook.  She wasn’t the most stellar cleaner, but she did a good enough job without me having to be mean and picky that Eric and I were satisfied.  She didn’t seem like she hated me too much or resented me all that much for asking her to do certain things.  But, fortunately for her and unfortunately for us, she got a full time job at a factory.  She offered to come on Saturdays, but that’s no fun because we would have to stay home all day while she was here.  Boo.

So after a couple of weeks of searching, I found Paola.  Paola is Colombian, which I love because she speaks a beautiful brand of Spanish.  Clear, pure, intelligible….just lovely.  She has also been in Panamá for 16 years which means she is legal.  A rare find.  I’m betting she won’t be around for long, but I’ll enjoy her while she’s here.  Oh, and did I mention that her resumé said she has worked as a supermodel?  Eric’s in Seattle this week for work and yesterday I happened to need to send him 4 emails throughout the course of the morning, including one announcing that Paola was going to come today for the first time.  Guess which email he responded to within ONE MINUTE?!  Yep, the one about the supermodelo housekeeper.  Shocker.

Paola showed up perfectly on time this morning – that in and off itself may have been a first.  However, when I opened the door and she saw Addie, she looked HORRIFIED.  Pure terror on her face.  Apparently she was not the one I warned about the dog.  Oops.  I’m usually pretty good about that.  Not this time.  So poor Addie went out to the porch for a bit.  I know that all Addie wants to do is sniff the woman once and then leave her alone, but Paola is so scared.  Poor thing.  We’ll work through this, but I’ll give her a minute to get used to the idea before I force them into the same room together.

Anyway, Paola is not a woman that I would look at and say “WOW!  Supermodel!”  First of all, I don’t know what distinguishes a model from a supermodel.  Secondly, I’m not trying to knock her at all.  I’m thinking in a “we surveyed 100 people and they said…” kind of way.  She might be a couple of inches taller than I am.  Maybe 5’5″ tops.  She’s 36, so perhaps she’s changed over the years.  But as a veteran America’s Next Top Model aficionado, I can say with authority that she does not have any particularly striking features.  Maybe she’s really good at smizing (or however you spell it…for those of you who don’t watch the best show ever made by Tyra Banks, that’s smiling with your eyes).  Of course I’m being harsh, but come on, when you say “supermodel” on your resumé, you create expectations.  I just want to know more!  Now she’s gonna think I’m weird when I stare at her and try to figure out what the deal is.  Google to the rescue!  I’ll keep you updated…

So last night, I went to my first gymnastics class since I was four years old.  Mono invited me while I was working again on my front walkover type move and explained that the idea is to help us to train in the acrobatics side of capoeira.  So I went.  And Mono didn’t.  Apparently he had some pain in his neck or something.  I went even with my jammed and swollen finger and aching wrist.  (Again, Eric, I’m sorry I can’t get my wedding rings on my finger.  And Mom, yes, I still kinda blame you for the Taylor Swift concert related wrist injury that is flaring back up.  Why are you so freakishly young and athletic?)

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One other capoeirista went, thank goodness.  His name, and I feel I have to explain it, is Kike.  It’s pronounced KEY-KAY.  It’s not a racial slur.  It means robocop in Portuguese…or at least that’s the idea.  Anyway, he’s super in shape b/c he trains like mad and runs a bazillion kilometers every day, plus he’s at least a foot taller than me.  Let’s just say he has a slight advantage when we train together.

So this gym was PACKED with 5-12 year old little people on all the apparati that you think of when you think of gymnastics.  We were upstairs in this warehouse type gym…you know, where the proverbial heat rises.  The warm-up lasted for, as far as I can figure, 7 hours.  I can’t remember the last time my skin felt so hot.  I was seriously worried about my body temperature…and also about the possibility of vomiting on the super cool springy floor.  At several points, I just had to sit down on the floor and put my frozen water bottle (ice bottle, i suppose) under my knees, on my arms, behind my neck, etc.  I thought I was going to quit several times, and I was pretty shameless about it, as I thought I was going to die, but then I would get back to just moderately overheated and Kike would convince me to return to the “warm-up.”  I did get it all done…just not quite as quickly as some of the others.

Some goofuses came in about an hour after us, warmed up, and ended up doing the class just like we did.  That’s the way to do it.  Good thing to know for next time.

I met a nice Canadian girl who must’ve been all of 20 who reassured me that, yes, it’s hard, and yes, it gets easier.  Mostly she was just really nice about saying that it wasn’t weird that I was dying.  I liked her.

So we finally got to the class part and got to play on some super big mats.  We ran and did front rolls, then front handsprings (with help).  Then we jumped and landed backwards on big stacks of mats.  Being the second to shortest and the newby, I had some trouble with this one.  Plus, apparently I jump like a high-jumper (leftover from my two weeks of fame during middle school…not that I like to brag) and arch my back, so I pretty much just ran straight into the side of the mat.  Awesome.

We ended the class doing back flips (back tucks?  What do you kids call them?), which was actually pretty cool.  Again, I had the coach on one side and a guy from the class on the other side, but still, it was cool.

Will I go back?  Hard to say.  I really really really hated the first part.  It was awful.  Really awful.  But the rest of it was fun.  And probably pretty helpful for capoeira.  I’ll probably say that I don’t want to take yet another night away from my husband and leave it at that.  We’ll see.  Or maybe I’ll try to talk him into going with me.  He called last night and told me how awesome he thought the videos of my back flips were….not the one I put on facebook, but the next two when I improved a lot.  That made me feel pretty awesome.

Okay, back to my day of writing to prisoners, icing my finger, tending to my random gymnastics bruises, and hanging out with a supermodel.  You know, the usual.

 

Stash of miscellaneous thoughts/info

I have a bunch of random tidbits that I’ve been saving up, so I think I’m just going to dump them all out here for your enjoyment…or at least for your consumption.

  • When my dear friend Katie visited, she took the same tour that my parents took with Eric to Lake Gatún which is the lake in the middle of the Canal.  I just found out that both Katie and Eric wrestled the same ginormous crocodile and both lived to tell the tale.  I’m very proud of both of them for their incredible courage.  Look at the size of this thing!  And it’s only 2 years old!
Steady, Katie!

Steady, Katie!

Conquered!

Conquered!

Apparently someone asked if they could put their finger in the croc's mouth.  The tour guide said sure!  Eric said he knew the lawyer in me would be dying had I been there...

Apparently someone asked if they could put their finger in the croc’s mouth. The tour guide said sure! Eric said he knew the lawyer in me would be dying had I been there…

  • Next up, I have a few more photos from my parents’ visit that my mom didn’t share in her post:
  • This one is completely out of nowhere.  Have y’all heard that the BRONTOSAURUS IS BACK!?!?!?!  I remember being (semi-) crushed when scientists decided that the brontosaurus wasn’t a thing but that there was something sorta like it and it was a brachiosaurus.  I hated, and still hate, the brachiosaurus.  But now, and I don’t know the details, nor am I going to take the time to Google it now b/c no one’s going to click on a link to any article that I may link to, there’s something that they’re going to call a brontosaurus!  And I feel like 1) an old friend is back, and 2) there’s hope that Pluto is a planet after all.  8 year old Julie is super happy.
  • Eric told me the other day that public restroom cleaning ladies just hang out in the men’s rooms regardless of whether men are in there.  He said it was odd.  I can understand that.
  • LOTS of people rollerblade here.  Like, they still sell them in seemingly normal stores, and you’ll see multiple people rollerblading on any given walk down the Cinta Costera.  I feel like they should be wearing scrunched down socks with them, but sadly, they’re not.  Ooh, and maybe Hypercolor shirts.  Isn’t that what they were called?  Anyone?
  • Last Tuesday, April 7, a couple of things happened at capoeira training.  First of all, I got a round of applause for doing something well!  It’s not common for us to do this for each other during training, so I was really excited.  The funny thing (to me at least) was that I was doing cartwheels.  They’re supposed to be really controlled and slow, so there is a bit more skill than you’d think would be involved, but still, it made me giggle that that was what they complimented me on.  When I finished up, a girl whose nickname is Ninja (the girl from DC who’s amazing) asked me “so you’ve really never done capoeira before?”  I told her no, but in my head I was thinking…”but I was 9 once…I mean, it’s cartwheels!”  Then we switched to the other side and I showed them that, like everyone else in the non-capoeira/gymnastics world, I can only cartwheel to one side.  🙂  Whomp-whomp.
  • Later in that same practice, I was learning a new type of kick called a media lua.  The guy who teaches the classes, nicknamed Mono (monkey), came over to demonstrate how to do them one after another with a partner.  I went first, but I messed up and made the mistake of standing up in hopes of trying again.  Wrong move.  Mono kicked me square in the eye with his heel…hard.  You may remember him from earlier posts…he’s not a small guy:
He has hard heels.  He's not small.

He has hard heels. He’s not small.

The next day my eyelid was bruised a bit – which I didn’t know was a thing – but no real blackeye.  Definitely disappointing after being knocked upside the head.  You want battle scars after that.  At least my Spanish teacher noticed something and didn’t let me read anything the next day b/c she didn’t want me to hurt myself.  🙂  Love her.

The real pain from that workout, however, was from the move we practiced which involved a sorta almost roll/cartwheel thing on your head.  I don’t know about you, but I do not believe that heads were made to have weight put on them.  Especially not all of my body weight on concrete.  No, sir.  Not this gringa.  I did it though.  Or rather, I tried it.  I did not succeed in any sense of the word, but I tried.

  • On Wednesday, the following day, we had our capoeira music practice.  I don’t know if I’ve explained that since capoeira has Brazilian roots, all of the songs played while it is played are in Brazilian Portuguese.  Also, the teachers often speak Portuguese during training and classes.  Really pretty difficult when you’re just trying to understand and follow the Spanish and learn the moves and all.  I feel like an idiot ALL the time.  Anyway, we learned two new songs on Wednesday, and to my horror, Lourdes, who leads the music practices and is engaged to Mono, started going around the circle asking each of us to sing each song solo to make sure we had it down.

In case you’re wondering, I did not have it down.  I do not know how to pronounce Portuguese words.  I do not have a strong singing voice or any desire to sing solos in public for newly discovered friends who I think are super cool and want to like me.  Yes, I’m a 7th grader down here…I just want friends.  Anyway, Lourdes helped me out a bit, but the seconds one was easier to follow and I was able to make it through the long chorus on my own.  I even did the “call,” the part where you call the rest of the group to join you, on my own, and maybe not in a beautiful voice, but it was strong.  A couple of the guys complimented me and seemed satisfied.  I was happy with that.  Just trying to keep from being a complete idiot…that’s the goal.  🙂

  • We finally sorted out our electricity bill and somehow managed to have the bill from our first month and a half in this apartment kicked back to the former renter who has disappeared and has been avoiding my calls.  The electric company would not let us put the bill in our name until she paid her bill, so that’s been a problem.  Finally…and I won’t bore you with the whole story…the owner of our apartment bribed the security guys in our building to keep out the electric company guys so they couldn’t get to the meter to read it and send us a bill, then we went to the company with us and she somehow worked it out.  In the process, the company insisted on knowing how many lights we had in the house (have you ever heard of such a thing?!), whether we had an iron (um, no…it’s called a dryer), and everything else that uses electricity.  Oh, and how many watts each thing uses.  Really?!  Who knows that stuff, and didn’t you just have this info from keeping up with the apartment 2 seconds ago with the last tenant?!

Anyway, here’s a photo of Isabel, our landlady, who is so sweet and wonderful, but ruthless and sneaky when she needs to be.  We love her, even when she’s a little ridiculous.  Doesn’t she look like she could be straight out of…I can’t decide between Florida and Savannah.  Probably Florida.

Our landlady

Our landlady

  • During the Summit of the Americas, we had a great time watching out for motorcades from our apartment.  It overlooks a big road, so whenever we saw that it was being blocked off, we knew that some world leader was coming through soon.  The best part?  We saw Obama’s motorcade twice!  The first time it was about 11:30 pm and we were taking Addie out for a walk.  Lo and behold, the President of the United States just goes driving by with two limos, lots of black SUVs, cops, and an ambulance.  Amazing!  The second time, we saw him from above, from our balcony.

It was interesting to compare the motorcades to one another.  Smaller countries (think Trinidad and Tobago) probably just rented 4Runners when they got here.  Not everyone can fly over tons of cars, at least one if not two helicopters, etc.  All the folks in my capoeira group commented on it.  The funny thing is, Obama didn’t do that to show off.  It’s what he uses for everyday stuff in the US too.  It’s just amazing the differences among all the countries in this continent (or these continents, depending on what your 5th grade teacher told you about North and South America v. the American continent).

One of these days I’ll have to get into Lourdes’s reaction to hearing the Apache helicopters this past weekend.  It reminded her of when the US invaded Panamá in 1989, when she was 5 years old.  She got really scared remembering it and told us all about it via WhatsApp.  I was ashamed that I knew absolutely nothing about us invading, and yet this was a hugely impactful event in my friend’s life.  Amazing how little we learn in the States about these things sometimes…

  • Coming up:  planning our first border run!  Although Eric took a trip to Boston a few weeks ago, I’ve been here for more than 90 days, meaning that I can no longer drive legally.  I’m not the type for taking chances with this kind of thing, so we’re leaving next Tuesday for Costa Rica.  We’re hoping to stop through Boquete (a major Expat retirement site b/c it’s cooler and beautiful) and Santa Catalina (a great surfing area where a friend owns a hotel) on our way back.  Exciting!

Birthdays!

So last weekend (Saturday, March 21) was my birthday.  At the last minute, I decided to be brave and invite over the capoeira group – who I barely know, but who are my best friends in Panama – for drinks and snacks at our apartment.  We live right near where we practice, so I didn’t think it would be inconvenient for folks.  It was an odd thing.  I had no idea what sort of get-togethers this group usually had.  Do they get together at people’s houses?  Do they go out usually?  Do they drink or are they the super dedicated to their health types?  How much food should I have prepared?  Who will come?  Are they going to feel obligated to come but not really want to?  Am I enough a part of the group to invite them?  So many questions!  I was pretty nervous.

The plan was for me to go to Capoeira practice from 4-6 and then for folks to come over after that.  Only 7 people made it out that day, but that was fine by me.  Why, you ask?  Because I found out that it is tradition on a capoerista’s birthday for there to be a roda and for the birthday person to play capoeira with everyone in the roda.  In case you’re wondering, I still know next to nothing.  I have no moves.  I don’t look cool doing this stuff.  I have no stamina.  So as each person got out into the roda with me, I was just trying to throw a few kicks, ginga a little, and breathe until the whole thing was over.  Yes, it was really nice to have this honor, but gosh, I had no idea what I was doing.  Awesome.

After practice, everyone looked like they were pretty much giving their regrets and heading home.  Everyone, that is, accept Moisés, my buddy who was the guy to help me out in the first roda on my first day of practice.  He told me he was going to shower and come over later.

I texted Moi a bit later to let him know that, as far as I knew, he was the only one coming over, and of course he was still welcome, but I didn’t want him to feel obligated.  Eric had suggested this b/c he knew how weird he would feel walking into a house for a birthday party for someone he didn’t know well and finding out he was the only guest.  Yikes.  Anyway, about two hours after we expected him to show up, he came…with three other guys!  Yay!

We ended up hanging out, mostly on the balcony, until almost 1 am.  For them, probably not too late, but for us, that was probably the latest (non-hospital) night that we’ve had since we’ve been here.  It was a lot of fun.  Once Eric had a couple of drinks, he loosened up enough to speak some Spanish, and most of the guys understood at least a little English, so he was able to communicate with them too.  Here’s the group:

George, Dario, Me, Moi, Antonio (Árabe)

George, Dario, Me, Moi, Antonio (Árabe)

I was really happy that they came, and very glad that Eric was gracious enough to help me host some folks that he didn’t understand completely.  It was a wonderful birthday.

Oh, Eric also made some tortillas de maíz for us – these wonderful little fried corn cake things – and one of the Panamanians complimented him on his frying talent.  Someone decided that putting salsa on them was a good idea, although I prefer to eat them plain.

Tortilla de maíz

The Tuesday following my birthday, March 24th, I went to capoeira practice and my new friend Lourdes and her fiancé Mono (well, his real name is David, but his capoeira name is Mono, or Monkey) surprised me with a birthday present!  Completely unexpected and unnecessary, but very very sweet.  Here’s what they gave me:

Regalo de Lourdes y Mono

At the end of practice, Mono called everyone together and he presented me with the official CDO (Cordao de Ouro – the name of our group) Panamá shirt!  I was really honored.  It made me feel like I’m officially a part of the group.  Here’s what it looks like…not that y’all care, but this was a big deal for me.

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So, skipping forward a bit…yesterday, Sunday, Eric and I went to Juan Pablo’s house (another Capoeira friend…we don’t know anyone besides these folks) for his birthday party.  He lives with his folks still in this house at the top of this hill that has a great view of the Bridge of the Americas, which is over part of the Canal.  The directions to get there were ridiculous.  He basically dropped a pin on a Google Map when he was home and sent it to us via WhatsApp, then sent us verbal directions via WhatsApp, along with photos of landmarks along the way.  All of this, mind you, is because addresses do not exist in this silly country.  We still had to guess quite a bit about where we were going.  I said things along the way like, “yes, I think that looks like the tree from the picture.  See how that branch looks like this one?”  Seriously.  That’s how it went.  Ridiculous.  But we made it.

And it was so much fun!  Everyone was outside, and luckily it was shady and breezy enough to be comfortable.  There was a grill area that was covered and that’s where all the food and drinks were set up.  All of the capoeira folks were there, along with a few of Juan Pablo’s friends from school, plus lots of family members.  We spent a lot of time getting to know a Brazilian couple who happens to live in the building right next to us.  We figured this out because the woman, Jessica, posted this photo on Facebook one day:

Rainy day in Panama 3.20.15

I saw it and thought “wow!  That’s almost like our view!  She must live nearby!”  So I went out to our balcony and tried to compare our view to hers to see where she lived.  Here’s the photo from the same day, but a few hours later, from our balcony:

From our balcony

So I figured out that they were to the left of us and not up as high.  I didn’t want to post the photo on Facebook or say anything at that point though b/c we hadn’t talked much yet and I didn’t want to seem creepy.  I told her and her husband all of this on Sunday and they thought it was hilarious.  I’m hoping we’ll get to hang out with them more.  They seemed like fun.

In the middle of the party, we had a roda for Juan Pablo.  It was a tiny little area that we had, so it was pretty intense and a few folks fell over on the brick grill area.  Looked painful.  I wasn’t sorry that I was in a dress and heels.  I just played the tambourine and the double cowbell-looking thing and clapped and enjoyed watching.  A few photos from the day:

 

And lastly, a random photo of Juan Pablo upside-down on a beach somewhere that he shared with us.  Pretty cool.

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My parents are here this week, so we’ll see whether I have time to share photos a little at a time or whether it’s one long post after they leave…