Tag Archives: Cooking

A Word Problem

I have a quick word problem for you. You invite a group of Panamanian, Venezuelan, Colombian, and Gringo capoeiristas to your house for the weekend of Jan. 27-29 via text around January 5th. All say they are coming and excited. On Jan. 26th, you haven’t heard anything from anyone, so you text asking who is definitely coming and start trying to organize who’s bringing what food and drinks. You hear that Person A is coming on Friday night, Persons B and C are coming on Saturday, and Persons D and E may come pending a health issue. You announce that you will provide breakfasts and dinner on Saturday, and ask they they supply lunch on Saturday.

Question 1: How many people show up on Friday? Who are they?

Question 2: How many people show up on Saturday? Who are they?

Question 3: What time do they show up?

Question 4: How many meals do you have to cook?

 

If you’re keeping score at home, the answers are:

1) zero, no one;

2) 5, Person A, Person B, Person C, and – tricky one here – Persons F and Child Person G!

3) Another tricky one, so here’s a hint. You get a text from Person A at 1:12 pm saying she is waiting for Persons B and C to pick her up to go to the grocery store.  You then get a text from Person B at 1:30 pm saying he is leaving class in the city (an hour and a half away) and going to pick up – not Person A – but Child Person G. At 4:45 pm, you get a text from Person A asking what to buy at the grocery store. There. That’s your hint. The answer? Persons A, B, C, and Child Person G arrive at 6:45 pm. Person F arrives at 9 pm. Obviously.

Oh and also, Persons H and I, plus H’s mom, Person J, stop by for a bit around 2:30 pm. But you probably already knew that.

4) One. If you look at the aforementioned discussion notes about who is bringing what, it would appear that you would be cooking breakfast on Saturday, dinner on Saturday night, and breakfast on Sunday. You’ve asked them to bring lunch on Saturday. Again, these are so obvious…they aren’t going to arrive until after their assigned lunch meal, but being crazy generous, they bring enough meat to feed nearly half of Punta Chame. They also bring every condiment you can imagine, bread, veggies, soda, and a huge cooler full of – wait for it – Balboa Dark beer. I’ll address the dark beer news in a moment. That is huge and deserves its own paragraph.

So yeah. We had a typical weekend with my capoeira friends, which means the following: we had very little idea of who was coming and when, or for how long they were staying, we didn’t know what they were bringing, we didn’t know if kids were coming or not. What we did know is that we would eat and drink a lot and stay up to some ungodly hour of the morning even though everyone is falling asleep in their chairs while music blasts from a bluetooth speaker. And was going to be a lot of fun.

I was so excited to see these people. I hadn’t seen any of them since April after hanging out with them 5x a week for a year, so there may have been some running and jumping and yelling and kisses and hugs when they arrived. You may remember some of them: Árabe (Antonio), Lucero (who is now dating Árabe!), Árabe’s 4 year old son Alejandro, Mahalia, and Moisés.

We cooked about 3 animals worth of meat on the grill on Friday night, then stayed up until 1:30 or 2 eating, dancing, and drinking. Eric even ended up dancing because Lucero (Traquina, if you know her by her Capoeira name) always takes the time to teach and reteach him.

Check out Eric’s face!

These three are so sweet together. Ale, Árabe y Lucero

Lucero is a phenomenal dancer – absolutely amazing to watch. Moisés is also quite good. They’re both characters, so we love watching them dance when they get together. We also enjoyed “un baile típico panameño” from Mahalia and Árabe. It was just awesome. We had seen some folks do this kind of folk dancing before, but never our friends! So cool.

Here’s a video of Lucero and Moisés. I’ve never tried to insert a video before, so y’all will have to let me know if it works for you.

Here’s the Panamanian dance by Mahalia and Árabe, hopefully.

Sunday was pool party time. I’ll just share a few pics here, as this is getting to be a long post. Oh, and we found out what choripan is – basically a chorizo in a hoagie bun with onions, tomatoes, ranch or ketchup, kinda whatever. A latin hot dog. What’s not to like?

 

I also mentioned that we had other visitors on Saturday afternoon. Stella and Elliott, our upstairs neighbors from last year, came by with Stella’s mom after a morning at the beach! It was excellent to reconnect with them. You’ll remember Stella as the model (for a day) that I snuck in to see during Fashion Week in 2015 and Elliott as the neighbor we adopted every time Stella was out of town. They also watched Addie for us a few times.

Speaking of Addie, she’s doing some sightseeing these days. She’s on holiday in Asheville, living it up at the Biltmore House with my parents. Not a bad life. Her birthday is in two days – February 2nd. She’ll be 11 and is still jumping the fence in the backyard. Silly girl.

I think that’s a cricket?

We found the house without much trouble on Monday night around 9:30. After a few minutes of yelling his name, Raúl, the caretaker, appeared and came to open the gate. Also at the gate was a cute, if very skinny, dog who was eager to meet us. I have forgotten her name at the moment, but I’ll get back to you. She’s super sweet and I’m glad for her company.

Our vicious killer of a guard dog.

Raúl let us into the house and immediately my mind went into snap judgment mode, as I imagine (hope? selfishly, for the sake of making me normal, not because snap judgments are good) it does for most people when they arrive in a new place. The first thing I noticed were the very clean and shiny stone floors. Then the huge thatched roof. It feels like we live in a big tiki hut, honestly. Those were some of the positive parts.

As we continued exploring, I found both positive and negative elements. Or maybe I’ll just say positive and interesting. That’s a better way for me to handle it.

Interesting: outside of the fridge is quite rusted and gross looking. Positive: the inside looks clean and feels cold.

Positive: there is a desk and chair for Eric! Interesting: the seat of the chair is not parallel to the floor.

Positive: there are screens on the windows to keep bugs out. Interesting: It doesn’t really matter because various portions of the roof do not completely come together, leaving fairly large spaces for creatures to enter.

Interesting: The GIANT cricket on the wall just outside our bathroom. Positive: My husband is trained in the art of capturing these guys in towels and releasing them outside…so as to challenge them to re-enter via the roofline.

Positive: Salamanders/various lizards are not harmful. They’re not even gross. Interesting: They will scare the absolute hell out of you when they sneak up on you in the water closet.

Positive: Eric is willing to go after these with his patented towel method…at least until they hide behind the toilet.

Positive: I feel safe here. Interesting: Rusty barbed wire outside our window. This one isn’t actually so bad. I’m pretty used to seeing this around here. Doesn’t bother me.

See the rusty barbed wire just outside the window?

Positive: Really beautiful and fun tiki-style thatched roof. Interesting: No windows to open upstairs to allow for the amazing Punta Chame breezes to come through the 2nd floor. Positive: We have a 2nd floor. It’s pretty silly.

Positive: We have a stove and oven. Interesting: We have completely unlabeled knobs. How hot is the oven supposed to be for those potatoes? 425? Well, fun. I’m going to set it on plain white kinda far away from the dot. Positive: Eric is a good cook. Last night we had a lovely meal of rosemary potatoes and various fried things filled with meat. Man, did we miss our fried things filled with meat!

Eric was the first to have a go at the shower yesterday (Tuesday) morning. We had been told that we would have hot water, which was pretty special. We weren’t surprised to find out that it was one of those plastic contraptions stuck onto the pipe as it comes out of the wall…I’m not a plumber, I don’t know how to better describe it. Let’s just say it’s a fairly basic system. Not a problem…until the water just stops. Yes, we have hot water, but only for 2 minutes at a time. If Eric didn’t have time to finish his shower, I knew I was doomed.

Last night I gave it a try. I immediately realized that buying separate shampoo and conditioner had been a big mistake. It turns out that I can either wash my hair or my body, but not both in the same go. I’ll have to work on a solution to this one. Currently I have 12 hour old hair and the rest of me is freshly washed. Well, freshly washed with a thick coating of 100% deet.

If you didn’t know it before, you are now realizing that I am not an outdoorsy kind of girl. I desperately want to be. I grew up in Asheville and played in the woods every day when I was little. I love the idea of camping. I love hiking, as long as there are no bugs or spiderwebs. I love fresh air and quiet. I love that I cannot hear any cars right now and that the breeze blows through the [first floor of the] house in the evenings. But gosh, I do not like any kind of insects. I hate the feeling of grass on my wet feet (Mom, remember how I was never good with slip-n-slides on the front lawn?). I think my parents have photos of me on the beach with one foot in a bucket of water. Apparently I would wash the sand off of one foot, then switch feet, only to have to do it all over again. I like to think that maybe that made me an easy kid to keep busy. I was diligent at least.

And yes, this is a completely different type of experience from our last time in Panamá. I knew that coming in, and I am prepared to do some adapting. We’ll get to that part.

But first, the most unsettling thing by far…the smell of the toilet paper. Yep. Seriously.

What is evidently the most common brand of toilet paper in this country has an intensely strong smell. It’s not a bad smell. It’s a bit like baby powder and a bit like a cleaning product. The problem for me is that the smell is intricately intertwined with my month-long illness and week-long hospital stay in early 2015. More on that in a later post. For now I’ll just say that it brought back some terrifying memories and added unnecessary anxieties to this new experience. But, I’m making small changes to alleviate my anxieties. Don’t like the toilet paper? Get new toilet paper! Done. Think all the dishes are gross? Wash them all and clean out the drawers (*we don’t have a pantry or cabinets, just drawers).

So today, I am making a list of ways to work through my worries and anxieties about the house and being here in general. Here’s what I have so far. I’m sure I’ll add to the list as the days go by.

  1. Deal with one anxiety at a time.
  2. Blog your way through those anxieties. Find humor in the inconveniences. Or at least allow others to find humor in it.
  3. Clean one thing at a time.
  4. If the spoons look really disgusting, buy new spoons.
  5. Deal with bugs when you see them, not when you imagine them coming.
  6. Remember that you do NOT have c.diff. this time around. And even if you get it, we now know what to look for and how to handle it a lot more quickly.
  7. Locate the closest medical facilities, just to put your mind at ease.
  8. STAY HYDRATED.
  9. If the smell of the perfumed toilet paper reminds you of having c.diff., get new toilet paper.
  10. Accept that cleanliness is relative (i.e. clean + bug spray + sunscreen + whatever kind of dirt blows in through the windows = clean).
  11. When overwhelmed, stick your feet in the pool, pet the dog, and read a book.
  12. Don’t pee in a shower that doesn’t drain properly. The next day will not be awesome.

And now, a few more photos of the house. It’s a weird shape, so it’s hard to get your bearings with just pictures, but here goes:

This morning I was a little groggy from cold medicine when Eric left the bedroom to start his day. I picked my head up to see him go. He stopped abruptly and said, “I think that’s a cricket?” I went right back to sleep, but remembered his words later in the day and decided to ask about it. His response? “I mean, I think it was a cricket! I just think it was injured or something. So it was just laying there, flopping all silly.”

So there’s that.

In other news, Eric got his kite today! Very exciting! He hasn’t fully unfolded it yet, but it’s blue and a darker blue and kinda reddish. Photo coming soon. We went over to the kite school around 3:30 today and caught up with Itzick – “the Ab Master” – Millie, who is responsible for keeping the school running, and Nino, Eric’s adorable 20-something Austrian instructor.

Machete Kites

We went for a long walk along the beach, then headed up to the “Machete Swing Bar.” Calm down, it’s nothing kinky. It’s the outdoor bar at the kite school that has swings instead of seats. The temperature was perfect and the sun was starting to go down. Beautiful. We discovered something slightly unnerving – the bar no longer carries Balboa, Eric’s Panamanian beer of choice. It now carries only Quilmes, an Argentine (Argentinian? I’m never sure) beer. Luckily, it’s not so bad. Whew!

Real men drink beer on swings.

We walked down to the beach to watch the sunset. I’m not usually a sucker for sunsets on the beach. To me, most beachscapes are boring. There’s water, there’s sky. That’s it. But here, there are beautiful mountains across the water. There are brightly colored kites all over the sky. It’s always exactly the right temperature. There’s always a nice breeze. The instructors usually go out to kite, so you’re also watching a pretty spectacular show. Tonight Eric gestured for me to stand in front of him so he could wrap his arms around me. At the same time, we both sighed. Perfection.

A VIP movie and Eastern NC comes to Panamá!

I’m a little overwhelmed by all the stories I have to tell from Matty’s visit last week, so I’ll warm-up my blogging skills by telling about our weekend.  Eric had a really long day of work on Friday, so we just took it easy that night…but I had plans for Saturday.  After a rousing capoeira practice for which only three of us showed up, Eric and I went to our very first VIP movie experience.  Fancy!

There is a new mall in town that opened in May and it is beyond fancy.  We’re talking Dolce and Gabbana, Louis Vuitton (I had to google how to spell it), Chanel, all the huge designer names that you never knew had stores because you live in North Carolina.  I hadn’t yet set foot in it because 1) there’s no way I’d ever buy anything there; 2) Eric, shockingly, has no interest in checking out the latest ridiculously expensive fashions with me; and 3) none of our visitors seem to have come to Panamá for the purpose of spending time in the mall.  Again, shocking.

But this mall, like maybe four others in town, has a VIP movie theater.  VIP means that they have fancy leather reclining chairs set up in pairs with side tables alla college classroom so you have a place for…wait for it…the food that the waitstaff delivers directly to your seat!!!!  Brilliant, right?  Asheville folk, it’s like the Asheville Brew and View, but with waiters and without fear of getting diseases from the old couches that they have.  A couple of big steps up, eh?

I was in charge of researching ticket purchasing, and unfortunately, I missed the memo that we were supposed to get them in advance.  We ended up sitting…in the front row.  As it turns out though, since we saw the new Misión: Imposible (NO, I will NOT translate that for you.) which was subtitled in Spanish rather than dubbed, we didn’t have to crane our necks to read subtitles.  This made it a rather enjoyable viewing experience, despite the “bad” seats.  We both ordered beers, which were served in actual beer mugs, which I prefer to pint glasses when in situations where I am rather likely to knock something over.  Stability and a low center are gravity are key to any beverage container within arm’s length of me.  We also ordered dinner.  I had some Japanese rice dish with shrimp and veggies.  It was a huge helping, so Eric ate a lot of it too.  Not phenomenal, but hey, it was a heck of a lot better than nachos.  Very filling.  Eric had some kind of pizza wrap thing that was in the shape of an ice cream cone.  Like, it was disturbingly close to the shape of an ice cream cone.  He said it was fine.  Meh, still a fun experience, and a good date night.

On Sunday we did a quick trip to one of the bigger but less fancy malls called Albrook.  Eric went by metro and I drove to see which was faster.  Problem is, I got lost inside trying to get to the previously determined meeting point.  Eric had planned to meet me upstairs in the food court.  I walked around for no less than 25 minutes (we’re talking speedwalking like my mother trained me to do in malls), consulting at least two directories which are brilliant in that they are electronic, but not so brilliant in that they don’t work…before arriving at the food court.  Unfortunately, I was at the food court with the giant staircase and the huge gorilla head, while he was at the food court with the carousel and the hot air balloons.  Whoops.

Anyway, I eventually found him, we met up for about 2 min, then we went our separate ways.  He again rode metro home…but we didn’t exactly communicate about who would be getting home when and who should have the key to our apartment.  I trusted his text saying he was leaving to head home, quickly wrapped up my errand of looking for skirts for a capoeira performance (a dance we’re doing in a show…we don’t wear skirts when we actually do capoeira, in case that’s unclear.  That would be tricky.), and got in the car.  He, meanwhile, figured I would be a while and that a stop by Wendy’s wouldn’t take too long.  Turns out, Wendy’s took forever making his spicy chicken sandwich – and “side” of fried chicken because, well, Panamá – so I beat him home by about 10 min.  We had given our key to a neighbor when he kept Addie for us last week and hadn’t gotten it back, so I was stuck in the hall for a bit.  No problem though.  I made a Panamá-friendly playlist on my phone in preparation for our upcoming dinner party.

When Eric let me into our house, we started cooking.  Eric was at the helm and I played sous chef, as usual.  We made Eastern Style NC pulled pork BBQ, Brunswick stew y cornbread.  It was amazing.  The plan had been to have Lourdes and Mono over, but they ended up not making it.  But no matter, our other friends Mahalia and Auri from capoeira and Elliott, our neighbor from Newcastle, came and gave our down-home country cookin’ a try.  We went REALLY easy on the spice b/c folks down here don’t typically like spicy food, but they really liked it!  They even took some leftovers to go, much to Eric’s chagrin.  I didn’t realize we didn’t have all that much left over and that I was not supposed to offer it to our guests.  Oops!  🙂

We also had some of our favorite newly discovered drinks.  They’re called chiladas.  Corona + lime juice + hot sauce with a salted rim.  It’s amazing.  I love it!

Anyway, it was my kind of night.  Spanglish spoken by all (and Eric did GREAT!  I was SO proud!), southern food, and fun friends.  Plus everyone here loved on my dog…an added bonus.  🙂

Okay, I told all the stories from Matt’s visit to our Spanish teacher today, so hopefully I’ll have them all in mind to share soon.