We are officially in our apartment in Panama. It actually happened…despite the efforts of a brutal stomach bug that hit me on Monday night, less than 60 hours prior to our departure and in the middle of moving our stuff out of our house and into Eric’s parents’ attic.
I haven’t written in several weeks, mostly because I’ve been terrified about the move. Most of y’all don’t know me as an extreme risk-taker, and some know that I have a lot of problems with anxiety. Shockingly, this is not the best recipe for someone who is boxing up all of her stuff, moving out of her home, and hopping onto a plane to Central America for who-knows-how-long.
The thing is, it all sounded like a really cool idea a year and a half ago, when Eric and I were engaged and everything was so distant. We were going to set off on our own, and he was going to support me in following my dream of becoming fluent in Spanish. It’s a lot of fun to tell people that you’re moving to Panama, to explain that you’re just up and doing it while you can, and to listen to them tell you that it’s going to be such a cool adventure. Actually doing it? It’s a whole other crazy thing.
See, I never thought 2015 would actually come. In late 2013, unmarried and completely without a plan, that was like saying we’d leave in a billion years. But the moment I finished up at NCPLS (my firm) and had three or so weeks to just plan and think and prepare for this crazy thing that we were going to do, I freaked out. I’ll spare you the details – and save myself a bit of pride – but suffice it to say that it’s been a hard month for me. Eric, meanwhile, has worked tirelessly to make all this nonsense happen – for me – while at the same time putting up with me telling him I wasn’t sure about it anymore.
But somehow, we got up this morning at 4 am – me still weak from not being able to eat much of anything in the past few days – and got on a plane. In 12 degree weather. Gosh, y’all, I’m sorry. That’s just brutal. Oh, and Mom, I’m fine. I’m eating, I’m healthy, we already found two grocery stores…just hold on, I’ll get to that.
I feel like a jerk saying all this because I know everyone is excited for us and some would love to trade places with us. We’re very very lucky. It’s just a big change, and I’m not great with change. Plus, I want to be honest about this because I’ve read too many accounts of adventurers who are fearless and just go out and do what they said they were going to do…where’s the vulnerability? Surely I’m not the only one with doubts about ginormous life changes and new places.
So, our first impressions and very first little experiences for the record. The apartment is fine. It is smaller than it looks from the photos, but still has two small bedrooms and two baths. Everything feels a bit dingy, but we can’t put a finger on why exactly. Maybe it’s just that it’s a little older building. Although I would prefer a nicer shower – I’m really picky about showers – Eric says it’s fine and we’ll survive. Electricity is really expensive here, so the a/c is only used during the hottest part of the day and at night. The rest of the time, we are supposed to open the giant windows in the kitchen, the bedrooms, and the living room. We have them open now and it’s actually really pleasant. Breeze is a strange but nice thing to feel while you’re in your house…or maybe I just don’t open my windows enough back home.
Oscar, the man who picked us up from the airport on behalf of the American apartment owner, gave us a few pointers and a bit of a tour of our immediate surroundings. First, the closest metro stop is…basically 9 stories down from our apartment. Muy convenient. We’re looking forward to checking it out. There is also a small convenience store/grocer-type place just around the corner where you can buy the Panamanian equivalent of Kraft singles by the individual slice. There’s also a smoothie place! It ain’t fancy, but for $1.50 each, I got a peach smoothie and Eric had hazelnut. Fun.
After checking those places out and resting for a bit – well, I rested while Eric set up his home office…most on that later – we ventured up to the big fancy grocery store, Riba Smith. On this trip we learned a few important things: 1) when to cross the street to avoid walking through the completely busted up sidewalk with all the really thick mud, 2) there is a giant death hole that hides in the dark away from street lights. I’ll have to take a picture of it. It’s not all that wide, but it’s really deep, and there are certainly no handy orange cones to warn you about it. 3) Groceries are really expensive here! I guess we knew that from our last trip, but I was somehow hoping that had changed. For example, a regular sized bottle of, say, Dove shampoo? $5.69. Crazy. Silk soy milk, which we buy three at a time in the US? $7.00. Of course there are other brands that are slightly less pricey, but still expensive!
I’ll post photos tomorrow hopefully and show the view from our place. It really is pretty amazing.
For now, I’m going to enjoy the breeze and relax with my husband, who, gracias a Dios, found his Balboa beer – Panama’s beer for men. I’ll post a photo sometime of the color of this beer and we’ll take a vote as to whether it’s darker than PBR.
