Tag Archives: Because…Panama

House Arrest

Friday Night:

I might as well write another post tonight, seeing as how we are trapped in our house for the foreseeable future. There is a wild Panamanian beast outside, and Eric has already fallen victim to her rage. Enough blood has been shed for one night. We have met Satan, and her name is Cat.

Sorry the pic is blurry. I was rushing to shut the door so she didn’t attack me too. Can’t you see the hate in her beady little eyes?

Yep, it’s not all sunshine and paradise down here. We have real problems. Like an outdoor cat. This girl’s got claws, and tonight, she dug them into Eric’s leg. One of the two that he needs for kiteboarding. She broke the skin, y’all. Eric had to use (gulp!) rubbing alcohol to clean it! And you know that stuff stings!

Had I known she was going to do that, I would’ve taken advantage of this situation earlier today:

Anyway, I had to brave the wrath of this little jerk in order to get our laundry done. The problem is that her food is kept in the laundry room, and I kept shooing her out so she wouldn’t get locked in when I left. She wasn’t happy with that arrangement. But after Eric’s little encounter with her, I thought she might be locked in, so I armored my legs with a towel and talked the poor dog into coming with me. Long story short: the cat wasn’t there. Pretty anticlimactic.

By the way, the dog’s name is Anigh. I have no idea how to spell it because a long “I” sound isn’t one you regularly hear in Spanish, but if i use a “Y,” it just ends up looking like Any. It’s pronounced Ah-nigh (as in “the time is nigh”).

The cat is Ron, pronounced with a rolled “r” and, well, a spanish “o” sound. Ron is also spanish for rum. Oddly, she is not much fun when you mix her with orange juice.

Saturday morning update:

We managed to leave the house this morning, but Ron has turned passive aggressive. She took Eric’s chair when he refused to pet her.

***Also, I’ve been made aware that my photos turn sideways when viewed on an iPhone. It’s normal on an Android or on a Mac or PC. No idea why it’s happening or how to change it, so you might just have to turn your heads for now. Sorry!

 

I think that’s a cricket?

We found the house without much trouble on Monday night around 9:30. After a few minutes of yelling his name, Raúl, the caretaker, appeared and came to open the gate. Also at the gate was a cute, if very skinny, dog who was eager to meet us. I have forgotten her name at the moment, but I’ll get back to you. She’s super sweet and I’m glad for her company.

Our vicious killer of a guard dog.

Raúl let us into the house and immediately my mind went into snap judgment mode, as I imagine (hope? selfishly, for the sake of making me normal, not because snap judgments are good) it does for most people when they arrive in a new place. The first thing I noticed were the very clean and shiny stone floors. Then the huge thatched roof. It feels like we live in a big tiki hut, honestly. Those were some of the positive parts.

As we continued exploring, I found both positive and negative elements. Or maybe I’ll just say positive and interesting. That’s a better way for me to handle it.

Interesting: outside of the fridge is quite rusted and gross looking. Positive: the inside looks clean and feels cold.

Positive: there is a desk and chair for Eric! Interesting: the seat of the chair is not parallel to the floor.

Positive: there are screens on the windows to keep bugs out. Interesting: It doesn’t really matter because various portions of the roof do not completely come together, leaving fairly large spaces for creatures to enter.

Interesting: The GIANT cricket on the wall just outside our bathroom. Positive: My husband is trained in the art of capturing these guys in towels and releasing them outside…so as to challenge them to re-enter via the roofline.

Positive: Salamanders/various lizards are not harmful. They’re not even gross. Interesting: They will scare the absolute hell out of you when they sneak up on you in the water closet.

Positive: Eric is willing to go after these with his patented towel method…at least until they hide behind the toilet.

Positive: I feel safe here. Interesting: Rusty barbed wire outside our window. This one isn’t actually so bad. I’m pretty used to seeing this around here. Doesn’t bother me.

See the rusty barbed wire just outside the window?

Positive: Really beautiful and fun tiki-style thatched roof. Interesting: No windows to open upstairs to allow for the amazing Punta Chame breezes to come through the 2nd floor. Positive: We have a 2nd floor. It’s pretty silly.

Positive: We have a stove and oven. Interesting: We have completely unlabeled knobs. How hot is the oven supposed to be for those potatoes? 425? Well, fun. I’m going to set it on plain white kinda far away from the dot. Positive: Eric is a good cook. Last night we had a lovely meal of rosemary potatoes and various fried things filled with meat. Man, did we miss our fried things filled with meat!

Eric was the first to have a go at the shower yesterday (Tuesday) morning. We had been told that we would have hot water, which was pretty special. We weren’t surprised to find out that it was one of those plastic contraptions stuck onto the pipe as it comes out of the wall…I’m not a plumber, I don’t know how to better describe it. Let’s just say it’s a fairly basic system. Not a problem…until the water just stops. Yes, we have hot water, but only for 2 minutes at a time. If Eric didn’t have time to finish his shower, I knew I was doomed.

Last night I gave it a try. I immediately realized that buying separate shampoo and conditioner had been a big mistake. It turns out that I can either wash my hair or my body, but not both in the same go. I’ll have to work on a solution to this one. Currently I have 12 hour old hair and the rest of me is freshly washed. Well, freshly washed with a thick coating of 100% deet.

If you didn’t know it before, you are now realizing that I am not an outdoorsy kind of girl. I desperately want to be. I grew up in Asheville and played in the woods every day when I was little. I love the idea of camping. I love hiking, as long as there are no bugs or spiderwebs. I love fresh air and quiet. I love that I cannot hear any cars right now and that the breeze blows through the [first floor of the] house in the evenings. But gosh, I do not like any kind of insects. I hate the feeling of grass on my wet feet (Mom, remember how I was never good with slip-n-slides on the front lawn?). I think my parents have photos of me on the beach with one foot in a bucket of water. Apparently I would wash the sand off of one foot, then switch feet, only to have to do it all over again. I like to think that maybe that made me an easy kid to keep busy. I was diligent at least.

And yes, this is a completely different type of experience from our last time in Panamá. I knew that coming in, and I am prepared to do some adapting. We’ll get to that part.

But first, the most unsettling thing by far…the smell of the toilet paper. Yep. Seriously.

What is evidently the most common brand of toilet paper in this country has an intensely strong smell. It’s not a bad smell. It’s a bit like baby powder and a bit like a cleaning product. The problem for me is that the smell is intricately intertwined with my month-long illness and week-long hospital stay in early 2015. More on that in a later post. For now I’ll just say that it brought back some terrifying memories and added unnecessary anxieties to this new experience. But, I’m making small changes to alleviate my anxieties. Don’t like the toilet paper? Get new toilet paper! Done. Think all the dishes are gross? Wash them all and clean out the drawers (*we don’t have a pantry or cabinets, just drawers).

So today, I am making a list of ways to work through my worries and anxieties about the house and being here in general. Here’s what I have so far. I’m sure I’ll add to the list as the days go by.

  1. Deal with one anxiety at a time.
  2. Blog your way through those anxieties. Find humor in the inconveniences. Or at least allow others to find humor in it.
  3. Clean one thing at a time.
  4. If the spoons look really disgusting, buy new spoons.
  5. Deal with bugs when you see them, not when you imagine them coming.
  6. Remember that you do NOT have c.diff. this time around. And even if you get it, we now know what to look for and how to handle it a lot more quickly.
  7. Locate the closest medical facilities, just to put your mind at ease.
  8. STAY HYDRATED.
  9. If the smell of the perfumed toilet paper reminds you of having c.diff., get new toilet paper.
  10. Accept that cleanliness is relative (i.e. clean + bug spray + sunscreen + whatever kind of dirt blows in through the windows = clean).
  11. When overwhelmed, stick your feet in the pool, pet the dog, and read a book.
  12. Don’t pee in a shower that doesn’t drain properly. The next day will not be awesome.

And now, a few more photos of the house. It’s a weird shape, so it’s hard to get your bearings with just pictures, but here goes:

This morning I was a little groggy from cold medicine when Eric left the bedroom to start his day. I picked my head up to see him go. He stopped abruptly and said, “I think that’s a cricket?” I went right back to sleep, but remembered his words later in the day and decided to ask about it. His response? “I mean, I think it was a cricket! I just think it was injured or something. So it was just laying there, flopping all silly.”

So there’s that.

In other news, Eric got his kite today! Very exciting! He hasn’t fully unfolded it yet, but it’s blue and a darker blue and kinda reddish. Photo coming soon. We went over to the kite school around 3:30 today and caught up with Itzick – “the Ab Master” – Millie, who is responsible for keeping the school running, and Nino, Eric’s adorable 20-something Austrian instructor.

Machete Kites

We went for a long walk along the beach, then headed up to the “Machete Swing Bar.” Calm down, it’s nothing kinky. It’s the outdoor bar at the kite school that has swings instead of seats. The temperature was perfect and the sun was starting to go down. Beautiful. We discovered something slightly unnerving – the bar no longer carries Balboa, Eric’s Panamanian beer of choice. It now carries only Quilmes, an Argentine (Argentinian? I’m never sure) beer. Luckily, it’s not so bad. Whew!

Real men drink beer on swings.

We walked down to the beach to watch the sunset. I’m not usually a sucker for sunsets on the beach. To me, most beachscapes are boring. There’s water, there’s sky. That’s it. But here, there are beautiful mountains across the water. There are brightly colored kites all over the sky. It’s always exactly the right temperature. There’s always a nice breeze. The instructors usually go out to kite, so you’re also watching a pretty spectacular show. Tonight Eric gestured for me to stand in front of him so he could wrap his arms around me. At the same time, we both sighed. Perfection.

Carnavales!

We’ve done a lot of just living life here recently, hence the less frequent blog posts.  I did, however, fail to fill you in on Carnavales!  So here you go…

We decided to do it up right this year since I was sick and couldn’t do much last year at this time.  We ended up spending two nights in Las Tablas, a small town that is famous for having the biggest and most ridiculous Carnaval celebration.  It’s about a 3.5 hour drive from the city.

Map showing Las Tablas

We actually stayed in an even smaller town about 5 min from Las Tablas called Santo Domingo.  The thing is, you have to book hotels months and months in advance if you want to be in Las Tablas for Carnavales.  We did not.  But, we really lucked out.  We stayed at a nice B&B in a very clean room within walking distance of Santo Domingo’s town square.  Of course, this meant that we were listening to partying until all hours of the night…and to the drums that started up at 4 am and continued for a couple of house…but hey, all in the spirit of the celebration, right?  Meh…it was loud.  I’m old.

So when we got into town around 4 pm, we decided to head to Las Tablas and walk around to get a feel for things.  What we found was this:

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Amazingly disgusting.  I have never smelled smells like that before…or at least not that combination of smells and not at that intensity.  The gutters were completely filled with beer cans and trash.  We caught several people peeing behind houses or…you know…kinda wherever.  Actually, my friend Mahalia, when asked whether she was going to Las Tablas, responded that she preferred not to smell pee for 4 days straight.  Lovely.  But hey, what do you expect?  It’s a huge 4 day party!

So anyway, we arrived around 4 to find the streets pretty dead.  It turns out that people are out all morning and early afternoon, then go home from about 4 until 7 or 8 to rest and eat dinner.  Then they come out again and play drums all night right by the window of the place we stayed.  Okay, not really, but it was close.  We got the whole experience.

So one big thing about Carnavales in Panamá are the culecos.  As you might imagine, it’s pretty flippin’ hot during the day b/c 1) it’s Panamá and it’s always hot, and 2) it’s our summer right now.  So the towns will bring out huge trucks filled with water and hose down the crowd from time to time.  You’re supposed to expect to get wet…it’s just going to happen.  As we walked down the street that first day, we passed by a small house where an old (80’s at least) woman was spraying people with one of those noodle-looking pool toys that squirts out a ton of water.  Eric says he’d call it a water cannon.  But the best part was that since most people had gone home to rest, she just targeted this one poor guy who was obviously wasted, over it, and wanting to be home.  He was shocked and mad…and she cracked up!  We did too…as we made our way to the opposite side of the street.

Guy peeing next to a house…one of several public urinators of the weekend.
And this girl was nothing but class…or something.
Drunk and passed out on the street…at 4 pm.

On our first night, the town ran out of water.  Like, the whole town.  Apparently that happens when you spray down all of your residents and visitors all day long.  Luckily, the hostel where we stayed was able to get a water truck to refill their tank by maybe 11 am the next morning.  They also made arrangements with a woman down the road to feed us breakfast.  This is what the place looked like:

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Breakfast restaurant

It was great!  We had some chorizo and yuca and coffee while we chatted with a retired couple who had just moved down from somewhere in the midwest and an Australian couple.  It was interesting to hear their stories and experiences and share some of ours.  Listening to the American couple made me think of our first few weeks here and how much we’ve learned about the country and culture since then.  We also wondered why in the world they would move to Las Tablas, of all places, because it is such a small town and it’s neither on the beach nor in the mountains.  Kinda a stuck-in-the-middle kinda spot.  The Australian couple had been traveling for years.  Evidently they will spend several months to a year in one country, then move on to the next.  Colombia was next on their list.  Old hippie types…pretty cool.

Float
What happens to floats after they’re used: They go in someone’s backyard.
Another float.
Spontaneous singing and drum playing in the town square.

So…the celebration.  We decided not to go back to Las Tablas, but rather to hang out in Santo Domingo.  This way we could easily go back and forth to the hotel for beverages and bathrooms and didn’t have to worry about driving or looking for a taxi.  It was still a huge party.  The floats were particularly impressive, as you can see above.

They also select a Queen from both Calle Arriba (roughly translated as “uptown”) and Calle Abajo (downtown), and each of those women (18-22ish years old) lead the parade of the Polleras, the traditional Panamanian dress that you can see in the photos below.  Maybe a hundred women, from tiny kids to elderly ladies, dressed up in their polleras (which can cost upwards of $60,000 if it’s intricate and you add in the cost of jewelry and shoes) and walked around the square while men played the drums.

We also had the opportunity to drive down to Playa Venao, which we had heard was beautiful.  We only stopped there for maybe 45 min.  It was pretty because it was in a little cove, but it wasn’t super amazing compared to some of the beaches in Panamá.  Still glad we went though.

Playa Venao